Murdering With A Paper Clip Made Easy

Sleek. Stark. Sharp. Purchasing it might be a microscopic investment but its results are definitely macroscopic.

The personality of a paper Clip has been viewed by many as of a stereotypical office essential. Nevertheless, its evolution from that to an everyday killing machine, which may not have been predicted by Nostradamus, seems to have caught on the fancy of a few Neanderthals on Facebook. Crediting their inspiration to be the after-effects of a smoke-up session and referring to the stolid paper clip as their muse, the creators of the page, “Five Ways To Kill With A Paperclip!” definitely have something huge in their hands.
So if you have one of those irritating people who question the viability of existence, as opposed to survival, as friends, you know what to do. Just facebook the above mentioned page. Started on May 15, 2010, it already has a fan following of 491 profiles. So don’t be wary, if you are genuinely interested in murdering someone please feel free to partake in the information available.

Some of the suggestions ought to be patented. Copyright might not be a bad idea either.
The art of uncurling it and stabbing someone with it is remarkable. But do make sure you sharpen it first. Another option would be to just stuff it down someone’s throat or esophagus (whatever appeals to you at the moment). Namrata Sahoo(21), a paper clip enthusiast quips, “Dip it in cyanide and make it the support for a lollipop and let the ‘you-know-who’ die licking.” The old school philosophy is to stab someone in the eye with it. Said to be painful, the procedure has been followed by quite a few rational and not so rational adolescents.

Some of the popular acts include shoving it in an electrical socket (I am guessing that is where the international singer, Robyn Rihanna Fenty’s “I’m gonna stand there and watch you burn” comes from.) Taking the lead out of a pencil and substituting it with a paper clip, sharpening it, and then attack people with it also seems to be quite a favourite. You could also opt for a less violent approach by threatening to stab someone with it and then watching them topple off the edge of a building.

Next time someone questions you on the uses of a paper clip you might wish to opine saying that, “a creative cells in a person’s brains raised to the power of infinity would not be sufficient to explain the phenomenon”, or you could just try out a few of the above mentioned ideas.

I rest my case.