Murdering With A Paper Clip Made Easy

Sleek. Stark. Sharp. Purchasing it might be a microscopic investment but its results are definitely macroscopic.

The personality of a paper Clip has been viewed by many as of a stereotypical office essential. Nevertheless, its evolution from that to an everyday killing machine, which may not have been predicted by Nostradamus, seems to have caught on the fancy of a few Neanderthals on Facebook. Crediting their inspiration to be the after-effects of a smoke-up session and referring to the stolid paper clip as their muse, the creators of the page, “Five Ways To Kill With A Paperclip!” definitely have something huge in their hands.
So if you have one of those irritating people who question the viability of existence, as opposed to survival, as friends, you know what to do. Just facebook the above mentioned page. Started on May 15, 2010, it already has a fan following of 491 profiles. So don’t be wary, if you are genuinely interested in murdering someone please feel free to partake in the information available.

Some of the suggestions ought to be patented. Copyright might not be a bad idea either.
The art of uncurling it and stabbing someone with it is remarkable. But do make sure you sharpen it first. Another option would be to just stuff it down someone’s throat or esophagus (whatever appeals to you at the moment). Namrata Sahoo(21), a paper clip enthusiast quips, “Dip it in cyanide and make it the support for a lollipop and let the ‘you-know-who’ die licking.” The old school philosophy is to stab someone in the eye with it. Said to be painful, the procedure has been followed by quite a few rational and not so rational adolescents.

Some of the popular acts include shoving it in an electrical socket (I am guessing that is where the international singer, Robyn Rihanna Fenty’s “I’m gonna stand there and watch you burn” comes from.) Taking the lead out of a pencil and substituting it with a paper clip, sharpening it, and then attack people with it also seems to be quite a favourite. You could also opt for a less violent approach by threatening to stab someone with it and then watching them topple off the edge of a building.

Next time someone questions you on the uses of a paper clip you might wish to opine saying that, “a creative cells in a person’s brains raised to the power of infinity would not be sufficient to explain the phenomenon”, or you could just try out a few of the above mentioned ideas.

I rest my case.

Pottering with the Harrys~

Waking up early enough to compete with the resident rooster. Wading through unmentionable muck. On a Sunday Morning. Only for the Deathly Hallows.
Watching Harry potter and the Deathly Hallows – Rs 110.
Watching it with a vibrant Tamil crowd – priceless.
(Sawvee to disappoint my Delhi Dosts, but alas, Potter did not go “Yenna Rascala!”)

Dobby, you can be my friend anyday!
Snape, do I still love thee or what?!
Voldemort, we, the muggles, lyk thee.
Ronald Weasley – please! Pretty please, never grow up!

*A few things I jotted down when the movie started dragging*
~Mind you, the so-called topless scene was nothing but a backless so-not-required-zipping-up-sequence. Followed by a dry kiss. *Yawns*
~Harry and Hermoine making out- So creepy!
~New Zealand locales – prettyful.
~The Locket Horcrux puts Hermoine into depression. Ron into his jealous-sidekick frame and causes Potter to die... Fine! It causes him to come close to it.
~Quite a few big names feature in the Movie.
~Bill Nighy as Pius reminded one of his Davy Jones-ness.
~Yes, I did notice the jab at “Twilight”… (Ron – “My mum used twilight”. *Awkward Silence* “Midnight is better.”)
~Hermoine had almost as big a chunk as Harry. I am, of course, talking about roles.
~In some places it droned on for quite bit. The yawning in the audience was quite evident.
~Luna still remains my favourite character.
~I missed my first glimpse of Hogwarts. Duh! Cause' it NEVER happened.
~Harry and Hermoine dance. At least Hermoine does, Harry just does some funny movements. Not included in the book. But then, I did not mind it. =)
~The animation explaining the Hallows was kind of interesting. For a change it did not really feel out of the place.
~Shades of black, grey and brown lend the film that grim touch. You know the kind that makes you shiver with the cold and start if something brushes against your arm during the movie. It is definitely not a child’s tale anymore.
~The wand business was a lil' confusing. Especially, if you did not know the story before hand. Actually, about seven-tenth of the movie would be highly confusing if you were not a HP fanatic.
~Bellatrix still gives me the creeps.
~Keeeeeeeecher! Go get yourself a propah master!
~BathildaBagshot reminded me of the Exorcist girl. *shudders*
~Nagini coming out of Bathilda - pure eeeeuuuwy!

BTW, I did correctly predict the interval and ending to the exact second. *winkywinx*

Claimer: I still continue with my all berry apparent hate for Daniel Radcliffe.
P.S. – This is actually nothing but a declaration of my ACTUALWALA having viewed the movie. If only in ChennaaaY!!!
*YaaaaaYiiiiieeeee* =D

Covering Environment (Deprivation-Style)

Have you ever dived in dirty water? You know the kind that stinks more than a week’s cold can handle? Or waded waist-deep in the crappiest of Chennaaay crap. (Literally!) Or just suffered unusually rotten luck? I am sure, the kindred spirits out there will agree to having experienced at least one of the above. But then, my claim stands apart in one particular matter. Yes, I too have done these spectacular things before in my ever happening lyf. But never had I had an awe-inspiring opportunity to do ALL these in one day itself.

Sorely, but surely, the acts mentioned above were performed by a murder of 45 (plus the elusive 46th member of the group). The following activities might astound thee, even get you to raise that eyebrow, but please do not ever question the necessity of pushing a fifty-seater so-not-capable-of-ever-emitting-any-pollution-again bus through the muck and slush of Chennaaay city. Never. It is times lyk these which get you wondering if it would have been better if you had just stayed in your warm bed instead. (Preferably with your stuffed cuddly toy) Just a passing rhetoric thought.

The Highlights of the day included the below mentioned so-berry NOT trivial incidents. Try not to whimper.

~ Witnessing *The Pulicat Effect* One moment being waist-deep in the cleanest of ocean water and the next in the dirtiest of human waste. (Only a diluted version, to make it even more, inhumanly possible, queasier.)
~ Being up to thine thorax in crappy situations is the perfect occasion to pay gloomy attention to the past wrongs of your non-existent lyf.
~ Wading through ankle-deep slushy waters. Without your shoes, hoping the lurking snakes do not fancy your yellow socks. Just not today, please.
~ Standing directly opposite Singapore. Give or take a couple of thousand miles.
~ Munching on hot food standing under the cover of a Fire Station yard.
~ Getting a glimpse of mountains. Priceless.
~Finding out those mountains were made of stacked up rubbish. The price of hundreds of slum-dwellers lives.
~ Gazing at the slick-covered Buckingham Canal.
~ Pitying the extra students who wanted to tag along. Their naïve imaginations had never conjured up shoe-bites as an after-effect to the journey.
~ Wet soggy socks.
~ Pain in places you never knew existed.
~ Lingering smell of sewage the day after.
~ The time of great bonding. I mean, who would disagree with the idea of making friends over a roadful of mulch, pushing a fifty-seater bus in addition. Best Friends Forever in the making.

Nevertheless, 30th of October is definitely etched in my mind as a spectacularly different day. (read different as dirtily different.) In my Over-Achievement award speech I am certainly going to thank my Environment professor. I can just imagine Sir standing in front of the future batches of ACJ wannabe-Environment-students, giving them a review of what to expect on a typical field trip. (We have, of course, set the standard.) But my future juniors are going to be one disappointed lot. Our trip was definitely once-in-a-lifetime journey… all the imaginable stars had aligned to present us with the rottenest luck ever. Such a combination is un/fortunately is possible only once in a googol years (The Grasshopper effect notwithstanding.)