Lessons Learnt After Three Months in the 'Media' Field

~ Contrary to popular belief and friends who have boring (yes, you heard me right!) jobs, there are no such things as Weekends. Considering the fact that I am writing this blog, from my cubicle, on a Saturday, you might not want to argue.

~ Free lunches and Free Offs are nothing but a figment of your sleep-deprived imagination.

~ Myths, in the form of 'the coffee machine makes coffee', 'the IT chaps are graduates', 'the chairs are medically-designed' are *yawns* myths. BTW, with respect to the chairs - they might actually be medically-designed... to give you the most perfect backaches.

~ Words and terms such as 'raise', 'medical benefits', ' are not to be uttered in the first six months of your measly existence at the workplace. Make it a year if you are actually smart.

~ The middle lifts are ALWAYS haunted. Witness courtesy a certain Miss Kazmi.

~ The 10th floor may have the only ATM in the building, but that does not mean it has cash.

~ FlipFlops are cool as long as they actually don't go "flip-flopping"...

~ Everything from Anna's speaking or not speaking is Breaking News.

~ When in doubt, talk about how utterly wasted AFSPA is. And you will be fyn. Moderately.

~ Be naice to your colleagues. Especially if they bring yum things to work.

~ Boss is always right. Subject to nicety and necessity.

~ Respect the one who orders brown-bread sandwiches.

~ You may, by all means, look at the guy, busy at his desk 24/7, with awe. But if you do not want to shatter that awe, do not try sneaking a peak at what the concerned person is upto.

~ It is not advisable to crib about "I do not have tym to spend shopping...". The Air Conditioning, Water Cooler, Jammed Loo Door are safer topics.

~ It is infinitely better for your system mouse to have a lyf of its own than for there to be a live rat/ mouse/ mongoose in the office.

~ When lyf hands you lemons, keep them. They make useful tear-generators.

~ Lunch/Dinner break is only for 10 minutes or lesser. Mind you, the noun used is singular. Plurals in such are never allowed. Unless they are Ciggie breaks. Hence, being a teetotaler totally sucks.

~ However sophisticated you sound, people will still laugh, at your face, when you drink Bournvita instead of the *rolls her eyes* highly-acclaimed tea or coffee.

~ Just because you wrote "Cleanliness is next to godliness" in huge block letters next to your desk does not mean the cleaner chap will clean your place. More probably the stinking office dustbin will land right next to you.

~ How many ever times you refuse people will still question your non-existent Bong status. In my case, Assamese as well. (Wish I was either!)

~ For some highly strange reason, no one wished me on Diwali... but everyone made it a point to send me Id wishes.

~ Office orientations/inductions are not meant to be fun. Especially if you are in the same cab as the guy who speaks absolute shudh-Hindi... non-stop. God bless his soul.

~ Become besties with the lift chaps. Especially if you happen to work in a certain 17 floor AaaichTeee building.

~ The chaps at the security will let everyone pass through without the mandatory ID card check... until... they come to you.

~ You will be considered the youngest till its actually blame-game tym.

~ *Featured in Ripley's Believe it or Not*
Pens and pencils will magically disappear from your desk... never to be seen again.